“Take my hand. I’ll lead you out.” I heard the Holy Spirit comforting me in my place of frustration. I enjoyed my teaching job, but I knew it was not my dream job. I was settling in my comfort zone because I did not believe I could actually reach my goals anymore. I was stuck on the how and I lost faith.
I had massive faith before. I knew I wanted to work in entertainment. I enrolled in college as an English major hoping to apply and transfer into Film and Television my second year. I had a plan and after stepping out into a different world (which was UCLA), I could not see myself doing what I envisioned. I cannot pinpoint just one experience that made me lose hope, but I know anxiety started to consume me around this time too.
According to the Merriam-Webster medical definition, anxiety is “an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physical signs (such as tension, sweating, and increased pulse rate), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one’s capacity to cope with it.”
From my own experience, anxiety is distrust and fear of your safety in unfamiliar or familiar situations. It can be extremely crippling and cause you to isolate from everyone even God because you fear him too. I am not even talking about reverential fear either. I am talking about that fear that drives you to perfection because you’re afraid that if you even say a curse word God will strike you down. (I’m exaggerating, but I hope you understand. haha)
When God spoke to me about taking his hand, I knew this was going to require a Faith Walk– something I needed for healing. I’m not exactly where I want to be, but I am still holding God’s hand and collecting a few gems along the way.
1. God is Trustworthy.
Isaiah 55:11 ESV “…so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”
As soon as God started leading me out of fear, I decided to put in my two week notice at my job to pursue my writing full- time. Literally three days after I put in the notice, I got an email from a major studio about an internship position in TV Development. Apparently without me knowing, one of my mentors gave a recruiter my resume. I interviewed and got hired! God did exactly what he said.
2. Peace accompanies Trust.
Psalm 16:11 NIV “You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasure at your right hand.”
When I put in my two week notice, I did not have a job. I just had a very detailed plan of how I would pursue my writing full-time. Although I knew my income would not be steady, at first, I had a peace because I trusted that this is what God told me to do and I was holding his hand.
3. Anything is possible in Christ.
Matthew 19:26 NIV “ With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
Before I actually put in my two week notice, I was so anxious about leaving and I applied to every studio I knew of, but no one called me back. It was not until I released it, God made it happen; I believe to show me the limit of my own strength.
4. While taking your faith walk, keep your sight on God.
Psalm 16:8 NIV “I keep my eyes always on the Lord with him at my right hand I will not be shaken.”
When I told my mom I was quitting my job, she did not approve. She wanted me to get a good paying job for the time being so that I could pay off all my debts before I take a big leap. Her point was valid, but I knew God was calling me out. It reminded me of Peter when God called him out of the boat into the water. Peter walked on the water as he would on the land, yet when he started focusing on what was going on around him; he started to sink (Matthew 14:29-31). I knew I did not want to sink back into my comfort zone, so I kept my eyes on God and not on my circumstances.
This Faith Walk with God is not easy, but it is totally worth it. God has been revealing to me that I am His Daughter and what being His means. He also has been bringing to light the unforgiveness in my heart, the trauma I’ve harbored, and the Love I so desperately need.
If you feel like God wants to take you on a Faith Walk, join the tribe.