When God Calls You Beautiful: Dancing in to True Worth
“Journal” by: Casey J
Walking around/ Fearful/ What if someone finds out the truth/ That I’m shattered/ Pieced together by the love of you/ Not worthy of your attention/ I’m so guilty and ashamed/Please don’t use me/ No don’t use me/ But here comes your Word/ Healing/ Affirming Word/ Write it in my heart/ Write it on my mind/ So I’ll never forget it
I sobbed listening to that verse. The perfect words describing this exact time in my life. In that moment, it was me and Jesus with Casey J in the background. (Sis, your testimony can let someone know that they are not alone and I definitely had a me too moment.)
I just finished dancing in front of 1000+ people for sunrise service Easter Sunday and all I wanted to do was hide. I messed up big time and I definitely have diarrhea of the face, so I wore it all on my face. That wasn’t all I was wearing though. I wore the lies I’ve been wearing for most of my life. The lies I hold on to like a comfort blanket while Jesus is saying “Give those to me. I don’t see you like that.”
If you can relate to Casey J and me, isn’t it so hard to believe that God called you beautiful? I know it is for me, especially because I compare myself to the next girl, have held on to words spoken over me, and I believe the whispers of my circumstances. Nonetheless I knew that in this moment of acknowledgement, Jesus was doing a work.
Right before dancing for the second service, one the dancers pulled us aside and wanted to pray. The words she spoke all aligned to what I was feeling in that moment. She prayed that we see ourselves the way He sees us and all I could do was cry some more. In my vulnerability and fears, Jesus was present and he made himself clear to me.
I will never forget that moment because in worshipping God despite of, I felt free and I knew my worth in God’s eyes.
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